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The following is based on information from
the Henderson (Tennessee) Police Department's website.
Although things are changing,
society still frequently encourages men to be competitive and aggressive and
teaches women to be passive and avoid confrontation. Men often misunderstand
(accidentally or on purpose) a woman's words and actions - the "She said no, but
she meant yes" excuse. Some people still believe that it's okay for a man to
demand sex if he buys a woman dinner or gifts, and that it's not wrong for a man
to rape a woman who previously had sex with him or other men.
Date rape is a topic that few
people are truly comfortable discussing. Below are some things you should
remember about date and acquaintance rape, whether you are male or female.
◊Date
rape is a power trip.
◊Rapists aren't always strangers.
◊Date rape is about power, control, and
anger - not romance and passion.
◊When someone you know -a date, boyfriend,
or casual friend - forces you to have sex, it's still rape.
◊Date rape is a serious crime. It's a betrayal
of trust and can leave long-lasting emotional injuries.
As a Woman,
You Can...
þ
Decide your boundaries before you are in a situation where they may be tested,
and make them clear to your date.
þ
Be careful not to let alcohol or other drugs decrease your ability to take care
of yourself and make sensible decisions.
þ
Trust your gut feelings. If a place or the way he acts makes you nervous or
uneasy, get out.
þ
Check out a first date or a blind date with friends. Insist on going to a public
place like a movie, sporting event, or restaurant. Carry money for a phone call
and taxi, or take your own car.
þ
Don't leave a party, concert, game, or other social occasion with someone you
just met or don't know well.
þ
Take a look at the men around you and be wary of anyone who puts you down, or
tries to control how you dress or your choice of friends.
As a Man,
You Can...
þ
Ask yourself how sexual stereotypes
affect your attitudes and actions toward women.
þ
Accept a woman's decision when she says "no."
Don't see it as a challenge.
þ
Avoid clouding your judgment and understanding
of what another person wants by using alcohol and other drugs.
þ
Realize that forcing a woman to have sex
against her will is rape, a violent crime with serious consequences.
þ
Never be drawn into a gang rape -- at parties,
fraternities, bars, or after sporting events.
þ
Seek counseling or a support group to help you
if you have feelings of violence and aggression against women.
If Date Rape
Happens to You...
Get help. Phone the police, a
friend, a rape crisis center, or a relative. Don't isolate yourself, don't feel
guilty, and don't try to ignore it. It is a crime that should be reported. Rape
by someone you know is a violation of your body and your trust.
Get medical attention as soon as possible. Do not shower, wash, douche, or
change your clothes. Valuable evidence could be destroyed.
Get counseling to help deal with the emotional trauma caused by rape.
If It
Happens to Someone You Know...
Believe her.
Offer comfort and support. Go with her to the hospital, police station, or
counseling center.
Let her know she's not to blame.
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