   
If
you are going to be out of town, talk to your neighbors – and tell your
kids that you have asked other adults to keep an eye on your home. Some
parents feel awkward when they refuse their teen's request to stay home
alone for a night or weekend. The following is from the Sioux Falls
Parent Communication Network's High School News/January 2008 edition:
Questions & Answers
Q:
My husband and I want to go out of town for a weekend. My daughter is
16 and she says is just too old to have a babysitter. She wants to
stay home alone. She is usually very responsible. Should I allow her
to stay by herself?
A:
Here’s the short answer: No. Your daughter is probably very
responsible. But in today’s world, there are just too many things that
can go wrong.
Take the true story about a
teen who invited a few friends to a party. They invited a few more.
Then word about the party was posted on MySpace. Before she knew what
was happening, the teen host had a houseful of people she didn’t know.
It wasn’t long before the police arrived. The parents arrived home to
a house that had been trashed and a daughter who now had a police
record.
So does that mean you can
never leave home until your teen goes to college? No, there are other
ways to make sure she has the supervision she needs. Probably the easiest is to
arrange for her to stay with a friend. It should be someone you know,
who shares your basic ideas about rules and curfews. If you have
family nearby, your daughter could also stay with them. Or see if a
trusted adult could stay in your home. If your teen is a member of a
youth group, see if there is a young female adviser you might invite.
If you grant permission to have a party in your home:
v
Be
there, or
make sure another responsible adult is present. You, or your
designated chaperone, should make yourself visible to the party-goers,
periodically strolling through to offer snacks or ''just saying hi'. Do not have the party in a separate
part of the house. When it is in the main flow of the home your
presence will seem more natural and non-intrusive.
v
Set an end-time for the party. It will
help cut down on stragglers. Many communities in South Dakota have a
curfew; be sure you end the party in time for the guests to get home
without speeding or breaking curfew.
v
Don't serve alcohol,
even if some of the guests are of drinking age. If the party is a
gathering like an open house or graduation celebration, there may be both
adult and teen guests. Making the party completely alcohol-free
eliminates the chance of a minor obtaining a drink intended for an adult.
It also demonstrates to young people that grown ups can have fun without
alcohol, as well as preventing any of your guests from driving after
drinking.
v
Have a guest list.
Stick to it. Before the first person arrives, figure out how with
your teen how to handle unwanted guests - they are often the source of
fights or vandalism. Don't worry about presenting a tough guy image.
Safety is a higher priority than a fun reputation.
v
Take
responsibility. If a guest brings alcohol to the party, or drinks before
arriving, and you or your teen are scared to call a parent for fear of
punishment, call someone else, or call the police.
v
Do not allow guests
to come and go.
Remember, it is your
house. You have the right to set the rules and the responsibility to
enforce them.
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