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Parents – do you know what’s on your teen’s
MySpace profile page? Chances are your teen is one of more than 100-million
people who have a page on MySpace. Most profiles outline not just how old the
person is, or his home state – they generally include specifics like body type,
sexual orientation and whether or not he smokes or drinks.
Of
course, MySpace isn’t the only site out there for people to create and post
personal information, blogs and videos. Other popular spots include
YouTube (A free video hosting site where people upload their own videos and
watch others’ contributions),
FaceBook (networking site exclusively for high school and college age
people),
Xanga (a
community of online diaries and journals.)
Sconex (site set up for high school students nationally),
Bebo (another social networking site based on where a user goes to or
graduated from school),
Tagged (social networking site designed for people 13-24 years old). While
this information can be generalized to all interactive web sites, MySpace is by
far the most popular of these sites and we will use MySpace
as the overall label for all of
them.
Social Networking 101
The Basics
E-Dangers
Protection
Parent Tips
Teen Tips
And If You Need
Proof...
A majority of teens see social
networking sites as a fun way to connect with others who have shared
interests – either people they already know or strangers who stumble across
their information. In many ways, these websites have taken over the role of the
1960’s soda fountain. Instead of cruising around town or wandering the mall,
teens today tend to go online for at least part of their social life. While
they have shifted their popular hang out from a real location to the virtual
reality of the Internet, many site users still consider their online postings as
private as they would an old fashioned face-to-face chat.
MySpace Basics
Setting up an account on MySpace doesn’t cost anything more than a few minutes
of your time. It’s simple and straightforward: You enter your email address,
first and last name, a password of your choosing, zip code, gender and birth
date. You agree to the site’s terms of service and – that’s it. You can start
uploading pictures, customize your profile, post a blog (an on-line diary) and
invite friends to join you.
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Beware of E-Dangers
It all sounds fun and harmless. So far, so good. What could be bad?
Teens
can create a ‘virtual personality’ when they put together their profiles. There
are untold numbers of people under the supposed minimum age who say they are
older in order to have greater contacts.
They may make themselves more ‘interesting’ by exaggerating their party habits,
drinking, drug use or sexual experiences – either in graphic detail or by
implications.
One
mark of cyber-popularity is the number in the Friend Space – pictures of the
person’s friends and links to their pages. Some teens compete to get their
numbers up – they may accept requests to be online friends from people they know
nothing about, just to bump up their tally.
While
teens are busy creating an alter personality for their profiles, they tend to
trust what others say on their pages. How can a teen in Sioux Falls, South
Dakota know if someone is telling the truth when claiming to be a 16-year-old
girl in Minnesota - or if it is a 46-year-old man trolling the Internet for
underage encounters?
Even if teens are careful to avoid specifics like full names, addresses or
schools on their pages, their friends might not be so wary. Information in the
Friends Comments could well lead a casual reader to their homes.
By
visiting the profiles of friends linked on others’ pages, and following what
looks “interesting”, people can find scenes of binge drinking, apparent drug
use, teens posing in underwear, and other members simulating sex. They can find
recipes for cooking Methamphetamine. They can and do link up with strangers
from their hometown and around the world.
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Protection
After numerous stories of young people making dates with strangers they’ve met
through MySpace – including a young teen girl who traveled out of the country to
meet a man – there have been some new security measures put in place on the
site.
New
restrictions prevent an adult from requesting to be on the friend list of a 14
or 15 year old unless they know the teenager's email address, or full name.
There is also an option to make only partial profiles available to people who
aren't on their friends list.
But
these steps are not foolproof. The biggest protection your child or teen has is
your involvement and guidance. No matter how old or young your children are,
you can help them become more aware of the potential dangers on the Internet.
MySpace offers these tips for parents on using their site:
-
Talk
to your kids about why they use MySpace, how they communicate with others and
how they represent themselves on MySpace.
-
Kids
shouldn't lie about how old they are. MySpace members must be 14 years of age or
older.
We take extra
precautions to protect our younger members and we are not able to do so if they
do not identify themselves as such. MySpace will delete users whom we find to be
younger than 14, or those misrepresenting their age.
-
MySpace is a public space.
Members
shouldn't post anything they wouldn't want the world to know (e.g., phone
number, address, IM screen name, or specific whereabouts). Tell your children
they should avoid posting anything that would make it easy for a stranger to
find them, such as their local hangouts.
-
Remind them not to post anything that could embarrass them later or expose them
to danger.
Although MySpace
is public, teens sometimes think that adults can't see what they post. Tell them
that they shouldn't post photos or info they wouldn't want adults to see.
-
People aren't always who they say they are. Ask your children to be careful
about adding strangers to their friends list.
It's fun to connect with new MySpace friends from all over the world, but
members should be cautious when communicating with people they don't know. They
should talk to you if they want to meet an online friend in person, and if you
think it's safe, any meeting should take place in public and with friends or a
trusted adult present.
-
Harassment, hate speech and inappropriate content should be reported.
If your kids
encounter inappropriate behavior, let them know that they can let you know, or
they should report it to MySpace or the authorities.
-
Don’t
get hooked by a phishing scam.
Phishing is a method used by fraudsters to try to get your personal information,
such as your username and password, by pretending to be a site you trust.
Click here to learn more.
-
MySpace also provides
a way for parents to remove their child’s profile from the site.
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WiredSafety.org also has these tips for parents:
-
Talk to your kids – ask questions (and then confirm to make sure they are
telling you the truth!)
-
Ask to see their profile page (for the first time)…tomorrow! (It gives them a
chance to remove everything that isn’t appropriate or safe…and it becomes a way
to teach them what not to post instead of being a gotcha moment! Think of it as
the loud announcement before walking downstairs to a teen party you’re hosting.)
-
Don't panic…there are ways of keeping your kids safe online. It’s easier than
you think!
-
Be involved and work with others in your community. (Think about joining
WiredSafety.org and help create a local cyber-neighborhood watch program in your
community.)
-
Remember what you did that your parents would have killed you had they known,
when you were fifteen.
-
This too will pass! Most kids really do use social networks just to communicate
with their friends. Take a breath, gather your thoughts and get help when you
need it.
-
It’s not an invasion of their privacy if strangers can see it. There is a
difference between reading their paper diary that is tucked away in their sock
drawer…and reading their MySpace. One is between them and the paper it’s
written on; the other between them and 700 million people online!
-
Don’t believe everything you read online – especially if your teen posts it on
her MySpace!
-
And, finally….repeat after me – “I’m still the parent!” If they don’t listen or
follow your rules, unplug the computer…the walk to the library will do them
good.
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Tips for Teens
And pass these ideas for safe Internet use from WiredSafety.org on to your
teens:
þ
Put everything behind password protected walls, where only friends can see
þ
Protect your password and make sure you really know who someone is before you
allow them onto your friends list
þ
Blur or morph your photos a bit so they won't be abused by cyberbullies or
predators
þ
Don't post anything your parents, principal or a predator couldn't see
þ
What you post online stays online - forever!!!! So thinkb4uClick!
þ
Don't so or say anything online you wouldn't say offline
þ
Protect your privacy and your friends' privacy too...get their okay before
posting something about them or their pic online
þ
Check what your friends are posting/saying about you. Even if you are careful,
they may not be and may be putting you at risk.
þ
That cute 14-year old boy may not be cute, may not be 14 and may not be a boy!
You never know!
þ
And, unless you’re prepared to attach your MySpace to your
college/job/internship/scholarship or sports team application…don’t post it
publicly!
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So, you don't
think it could be a problem around here?
Here are some comments from profiles of people in eastern South Dakota. They
were found with a public search on MySpace of people 18-23 years old in the
area. Some items, such as people’s real names and profanities, have been edited
out.
….
I have NO idea how I passed...I guess God was on my side LOL...or maybe the cop
did it wrong....he had to have done something b/c I had 7 jello shots and a beer
an hr before the cops got there and I know for a fact that alcohol doesn't leave
your system that fast ……………………..
thankful I didn't have an encounter with a barb wire fence...haven't heard of
too many people getting through one of those without a scratch....I hope you
have a lovely night...
(A 19-year
old female from Sioux Falls posted this to a 27-year-old man’s site - And the
following comment from a 20-year-old female was added)
Haha
………..
noooo havent seen any cops since
saturday....I still have cuts from the ….
barbwire fence that I definitly ran right into.....But at least I didnt lose my
sweet school bag......Talk to ya later...Love ya
Don't assume anything - check everything.
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