Leading the Way

Playing it Safe

There is so much excitement leading up to Prom night - finding the right dress, renting a tux, choosing a restaurant and selecting corsages. Parents, too, face their teens' prom night with a sense of wonderment - is this elegant young adult really their child?

Proms, graduations and the parties surrounding them can be a magical time for teens and parents.  But they can also be a time of heartbreak.  There are all too often drunken-driving injuries and deaths, date rapes, pregnancies and STDs.  Planning and prevention can head off the problems.

Before making any plans yourself or approving your teen's requests, please take a closer look at the impact alcohol may have on young people.

A tradition of post prom and graduation parties at motels has grown over the past few years.  The Parent Communication Network, PTA, Sioux Falls public and Catholic schools, the Sioux Falls Convention and Visitors Bureau and area hotels work together to help teens and parents make prom night a time for dreams, not nightmares. 

Anyone planning an after-prom or graduation party is reminded that Sioux Falls hotels and motels are united in keeping such gatherings safe for teens.  Their policies include:
u Renting rooms only to adults
u Requiring at least one parent to be present at all parties.
u Asking parties to leave (and forfeit room rent) if a parent is not present through the entire party.
u Assessing and collecting property damages.
u Notifying police of any underage drinking.
Find list of participating area hotels and motels

State parks and campgrounds are also favorite places to hold post-event parties.  Park rangers have noticed more drinking and drug use at campgrounds the past few seasons; now Prairie View Prevention Services, Parent Communication Network, the Mayor's Youth Council, the Sioux Falls School District and the state park system are working together with the schools to curb illegal, dangerous behavior.  A letter is being sent out to parents in the region explaining the policies and potential consequences for young people caught drinking in the parks, and a thought-provoking poster is being posted around the area.   

Click to see the warning poster developed by the South Dakota State Parks

There are some basic precautions parents can take to ease their worries and help their teens have the time of their lives.  Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW, offers these suggestions, adapted from 'De-Stressing the Prom' on News for Parents:

Prom Safety Tips

The Talk - Tell your teens that you want them to have a wonderful, memorable prom. Keep that wish as a central focus. They need to give you their complete itinerary for the evening, including whom they will be with, where they'll be going after the prom and the phone numbers where you can contact them. "We'll just be driving around" is not an acceptable response. Come to a fair decision on a curfew, based upon your teens' past level of responsibility in this area. Express your concerns about their health and safety and explain to them why prom night makes it more difficult to make safe and smart decisions. Don't be vague - discuss drinking, drugging, driving under the influence, and sex. Ask them how they plan to keep safe and avoid actions they will regret. Reinforce your belief in their character and in their ability to act responsibly.

The Ride - If they're not driving themselves, you must know who'll be driving them. Regardless of how many times you have talked about the dangers of driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs, emphasize that these dangers are particularly high on prom night. Your teens cannot drink or take drugs and drive. They also must be driven by someone who has not drunk alcohol or taken drugs. You need their promise on these rules. These rules are non-negotiable.

The Connection -- If your teens are not returning home right after the prom, you need to be able to contact them at all times until they return home. You also need to be reachable at all times as well. There can be no doubt where your kids will be and with whom throughout the evening and morning. If they're going to other kids' houses after the prom, check ahead of time with their parents. You also have a right and a responsibility to ask if these parents are going to allow drinking in their homes. Many parents believe that as long as they "take keys" in a situation like this that underage drinking is permissible in their houses. You must answer the question, "Do I want my kids at after-prom parties where parents aren't present?" Post-prom, parent-child check-in calls make sense. Establish a couple of mandatory call-in times with your kids. You might consider giving cell phones to your kids for the evening, thereby establishing a guaranteed connection.

The Offer - Give your teens the unconditional option of calling you at any time for help or advice. That includes picking them up at any time of day or night, with a promise not to shame or humiliate them in front of others. Assure them that you always welcome being part of their making smart and safe decisions. This unconditional offer of help and advice should be an outstanding offer throughout their lives.
 

If you are hosting, or allowing your teen to attend, a house party after prom or graduation, there are some guidelines to help keep things on track. 

With planning and preparation, prom night can be launching point for teens and parents into an exciting new phase of life. 

    2000 Prairie View Prevention Services, Inc.